


My Immortal: Voltron Edition

by agalaxywithinyou



Category: My Immortal, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, M/M, Parody, So be warned, Suicide, i have cut out all the tasteless jokes (like the ones abt aids), rape mention, self harm mention, surprisingly dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-08-28 19:27:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 44
Words: 18,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8460133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agalaxywithinyou/pseuds/agalaxywithinyou
Summary: This is literally just My Immortal with Keef as Enoby. A present for Becky, the biggest meme I know <3





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my friend becky for inspiring dis story! Dis is her birthday present, she is da luv of my deprzzing life! u rok becky! MCR ROX!

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Hi my name is Keith Kogane and I have long ebony black hair that Lance calls a mullet (that’s how I got my nickname Mullet) and purple eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Steven Yeun (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m half Galra but I don’t have cat ears. I have pale white skin. I’m also a paladin of Voltron and I fight the Galra Empire and save the universe. I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Space Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black pants and a pouch belt and a navy shirt and a red crop jacket and red boots and black fingerless gloves. We had landed on a planet so I was walking outside the Castle of Lions. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. Coran stared at me. I put my middle finger up at him.

“Hey Keith!” Shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Lance McClain!

“What’s up Lance?” I asked.

“Nothing.” He said shyly.

But then, I heard Shiro call me and I had to go away.

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AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. I could see space outside the window. I got out of bed and took off my giant SMCR (space my chemical romance) t-shirt which I used for pyjamas. Instead, I put on a black shirt, black pants, red crop jacket, red boots, belt with pouches, and black fingerless gloves. I put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Pidge woke up then and grinned at me. They flipped their shoulder length mousy brown hair and opened their golden hazel eyes. They put on their green sweatshirt and grey shorts.

“OMFG, I saw you talking to Lance McClain yesterday!” They said excitedly.

“Yeah? So?” I said, blushing.

“Do you like Lance?” they asked as we went out of the bedroom and into the dining room.

“No I so fucking don’t!” I shouted.

“Yeah right!” they exclaimed. Just then, Lance walked up to me.

“Hi.” He said.

“Hi.” I replied flirtily.

“Guess what.” He said.

“What?” I asked.

“Well, Space Good Charlotte are having a concert on the next planet over.” He told me.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love SGC. They are my favourite space band, besides SMCR.

“Well… do you want to go with me?” He asked.

I gasped.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws!

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On the night of the concert I put on my black combat boots. Then I put on my navy shirt, red cropped jacket, black pants, pouch belt, and black fingerless gloves. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale anyway.

I went outside. Lance was waiting there in front of his blue lion. He was wearing a grey and blue shirt, a green jacket, jeans, and sneakers.

“Hi Lance!” I said in a depressed voice.

“Hi Keith.” He said back. We walked into his lion (the space license plate said 666) and flew to the planet with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Space Good Charlotte. We both smoked space cigarettes and space drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the lion. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Space Good Charlotte.

“Space Joel is so fucking hot.” I said to Lance, pointing to him as he sung, filling the nunvillary with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Lance looked sad.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.

“Really?” asked Lance sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Space Joel and he’s going out with Space Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Lance. After the concert, we drank some space beer and asked Space Benji and Space Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got SGC concert tees. Lance and I crawled back into the blue lion, but Lance didn’t go back to the Castle of Lions, instead he drove the lion to… an uninhabited planet!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok keith’s name is KIETH not mary su or Keef OK! LANCE IS SOO IN LUV wif him dat he is acting deferent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok! 

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“LANCE!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

Lance didn’t answer but he stopped the lion and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously. 

“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.

“Keith?” he asked.

“What?” I snapped.

Lance leaned in extra-close and I looked into his really small beady eyes which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore. 

And then…………… suddenly just as I Lance kissed me passionately. Lance climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I didn’t take of my black fingerless gloves. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time. 

“Oh! Oh! Oh!” I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!”

It was……………………………………………………. Allura!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5. 

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Allura swor is coz she had a hedache ok an on tup of dat she wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!

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Allura made and Lance and I follow her. She kept shouting at us angrily. 

“You ludacris foosl!” she shouted. 

I started to cry tears down my pallid face. Lance comforted me. When we went back to the castle Allura took us to Shiro and Coran who were both looking very angry. 

“They were having sexual intercourse on another planet!” she yelled in a furious voice.

“Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked Shiro.

“How dare you?” demanded Coran.

And then Lance shrieked. “BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!”

Everyone was quiet. Allura and Coran still looked mad but Shiro said. “Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms.”

Lance and I went upstairs while the adults glared at us. 

“Are you okay, Keith?” Lance asked me gently.

“Yeah I guess.” I lied. I went to my room and brushed my teeth and changed back into my clothes because I sleep in my normal clothes and shoes. When I came out….

Lance was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing ‘I just wanna live’ by Space Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn’t supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6.

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

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The next day I woke up. I put on my black pants, navy shirt, red cropped jacket, black fingerless gloves, belt with pouches, and red boots. 

In the kitchen, I ate some green space goo. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the green goo spilled over my top.

“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the brown face of a boy with dark hair tied back with a bandana. He was wearing a yellow shirt and a vest and brown pants. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection. 

“I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.

“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.

“My name’s Hunk.” He grumbled.

“My name is Keith Kogane. I'm half Galra.”

“Really?” he whimpered.

“Yeah.” I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Lance came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Keef isn’t a Marie Sue ok he isn’t perfect HES A SATANITS! n he has problemz hes depressed 4 godz sake!

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Lance and I held our hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to Hunk. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Lance. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Lance. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…………

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my pants and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy’s thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

“Oh Lance, Lance!” I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Lance’s arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words………… Hunk!

I was so angry.

“You bastard!” I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

“No! No! But you don’t understand!” Lance pleaded. But I knew too much.

“No, you fucking idiot!” I shouted. “You probably have space STI’s anyway!”

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Lance ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in the control room where Hunk was in a meeting with the rest of Team Voltron. 

“HUNK GARRETT, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” I yelled.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8.

AN: stop flassing ok! if u do den u r a prep!

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Everyone in the control room stared at me and then Lance came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

“Keith, it’s not what you think!” Lance screamed sadly.

“What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!” Coran demeaned angrily in his weird accent but I ignored him.

“Hunk, I can’t believe you cheated on me with Lance!” I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

I don’t know why Keith was so mad at me. I had went out with Hunk (I’m bi and Keith is gay) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Shay, a stupid rock lady. We were just good friends now.

“But I’m not going out with Lance anymore!” said Hunk.

“Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!” I screamed. I ran out of the room and flew my lion to the planet where I had lost my virility to Lance and then I started to bust into tears.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9. 

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn watch all da episoods! dis is frum da internetz ok so itz nut my folt if allure swers! besuizds I SED SHE HAD A HEDACHE! MCR ROX!

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I was so mad and sad. I couldn’t believe Lance for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Lance.

Then all of a suddenly, a horrible Galra with yellow eyes and no nose started running towards me! He looked like an angry purple turtle and he was wearing purple armour. It was…… Zarkon!

“No!” I shouted in a scared voice but then Zarkon shouted “Stop!” and punched me.

We had a hardcore fight. I nearly stabbed him with my bayard and he started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I’m a sadist so I stopped trying to kill him. 

“Keith.” Zarkon yelled. “Thou must kill Hunk Garrett!”

I thought about Hunk and his sexah eyes and his brown hair and how his face looks just like Space Joel Madden. I remembered that Lance had said I didn’t understand, so I thought, what if Lance went out with Hunk before I went out with him and they broke up?

“No, Zarkon!” I shouted back.

Zarkon gave me a gun. “No! Please!” I begged.

“Thou must!” he yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Lance!”

“How did you know?” I asked in a surprised way.

Zarkon got a dude-ur-so-stupid look on his face. “I hath telekinesis.” he answered cruelly. “And if you doth not kill Hunk, then thou know what will happen to Lance!” he shouted. Then he flew away angrily in a spaceship.

I was so scared and mad I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly Lance landed on the planet in his lion and came out. 

“Lance!” I said. “Hi!”

“Hi.” he said back but his face was all sad.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“No.” he answered.

“I’m sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me.” I expelled.

“That’s okay.” he said all depressed and we went back into the castle together making out.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10.

AN: stup it u preps if u donot lik ma story den fukk off!

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I was really scared about Zrakon all day. I was even upset I went to the training room to train with the rest of Team Voltron. Only today Lance and Hunk were depressed so they weren’t coming and so we trained against the Gladiator. I knew Lance was probably crying and Hunk was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. I was wearing my navy shirt, black pants, pouch belt, crimson jacket, and black fingerless gloves. 

We were on training level three and once we beat it I suddenly bust into tears.

“Keith! Are you OK?” Pidge asked in a concerted voice.

“What the fuck do you think?” I asked angrily. And then I said. “Well, Zarkon came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Hunk! But I don’t want to kill him, because, he’s really nice, even if he did go out with Lance. But if I don’t kill Hunk, then Zarkon, will fucking kill Lance!” I burst into tears.

Suddenly Lance jumped out from behind a wall.

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me!” he shouted. “How could you- you- you fucking poser quiznak bitch!” (c is dat out of character?)

I started to cry and cry. Lance started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.

We trained for one more hour. Then suddenly Allura walked in angrily! Her eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn’t cause she had a headache

“What have you done!” She started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time she wuz relly upset n u wil c y) “Keith Lance has been found in his room. He committed suicide by stabbing himself."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11.

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend Beky and Francin 4 hleping me!

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“NO!” I screamed. I was horrorfied! Pidge tried to comfort me but I told them to fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Allura chased after me shouting but she had to stop when I went into my room cause she would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying. I took off my clothes and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed my bayard and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on my navy shirt, black pants, pouch belt, blood red cropped jacket, and black fingerless gloves sandly. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Nyma was spying on me and she was taking a video tape of me! And Rolo was masticating to it! They were sitting on their space ship. 

“EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!” I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Hunk ran in.

He got his bayard and shot Rolo and Nyma a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Allure ran in. “Keith, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” She shouted looking at Rolo and Nyma and then she pressed a button on a portable controller thing and suddenly…

The hologram of King Alfor appeared and said everyone we need to talk.

“What do you know, Alfor? You’re just a hologram of a dead guy!”

“I MAY BE A DEAD….” Alofr paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”

“This cannot be.” Shiro said in a crisp voice. “There must be other factors.”

“YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!” I yelled in madly.

Nyma held up the camera triumelephantly. “The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!”

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you fight the training simulator too much. 

“Why are you doing this?” Rolo said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his vest.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to beat him up.

“BECAUSE…BECAUSE….” Afor said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his hand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by Space 50 Cent.

“Because you’re goffic?” Coran asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

“Because I LOVE HIM!”


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

AN: stop f,aing ok alofr is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in space r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no coran iant kristian plus alfor isn’t really in luv wif keef dat was rolo ok!

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I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Lanke had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against the Galra but I knew that we must both go together.

“NO!” I THOUGHT IT WAS ALFor but it was Hunk. He started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! I HAVE A BAD FEELING ABOUT SOMETHING!”

I stopped. “What?”

“I’m really perceptive and always right about things. I had a bad feeling about what was happening to Lankcee…………….Zarfon has him bondage!”

Anyway I was in the med bay now recovering from getting beat up by the training simulator. Rolo and Nima and KING ALOFR were there too. They were going to be abandoned on a random planet after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can’t have those fucking pervs around lots of hot paladins. Allura had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway King Alfor came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink Altean flowers.

“Keef I need to tell u somethnig.” he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.

“Fuck off.” I told him. “You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don’t like fucked up preps like you.” I snapped. King Alfor had been mean to me before, when he haunted the castle and nraely killed me.

“No Keef.” Alfor says. “Those are not roses.”

“What, are they goffs too you poser prep?” I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

“I saved your life!” He yelled angrily. “No you didn’t I replied.” “You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Rolo and Neema.” Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.

“Whatever!” I yelled angirly.

He pointed his hand at the pink roses. “These aren’t roses.” He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that’s all you haD TO SAY! .

“That’s not a computer command that’s an MCR song.” I corrected him wisely.

“I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes.” Then he screamed. “Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for beky I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!”

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn’t a prep.

“OK I believe you now wtf is Lanke?”

Alorf rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

“U c, Keetf,” Allury said, watching the two of us watching the flame. “2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?”

“I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD WOMAN!” King Alfor yelled. aLLURI lookd shockd. I guess she didn’t have a headache or else she would have said something back.

Alfor stormed off back into his bed. “U r a liar, allure!”

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on my navy shirt, black pants, red boots, cropped red jacket, pouch belt, and black fingerless gloves. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don’t know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!).

“You look kawai, girl.” Pigde said sadly. “Fangs (geddit) you do too.” I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I went to the dining room. Hunk was there. He looked all depressed because Lance had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Lance. He was eating some green food goo.

“Hi.” he said in a depressed way. “Hi back.” I said in an wqually said way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Hunk had beautiful dark brown gothic eyes so much like Lances. Then……… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.

“STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!” shouted Croran who was watching us and so was everyone else.

“Hunk you fucker!” I said slapping him. “Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved lance!” I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. He started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! I HAVE A BAD FEELING ABOUT SOMETHING!”

I stopped. “What?”

“I’m really perceptive and always right about things. I had a bad feeling about what was happening to Draco…………….Zarfon has him bondage!”

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SPECIAL FANGZ 2 BECKY MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111

HEY BECKY DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

AN: becky fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!

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Hunk and I ran up the stairs looking for Allura. We were so scared.

“Allura Alluria!” we both yelled. Allura came there.

“What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?” she asked angrily.

“Zfrarkon has Lance!” we shouted at the same time.

She laughed in an evil voice.

“No! Don’t! We need to save Lance!” we begged.

“No.” she said meanly. “I don’t give a darn what Zarkon does to Lance. Not after how much he misbehaved in Voltron training sessions especially with YOU Keith.” hse said while she frowned looking at me. “Besides I never liked him that much anyway.” then she walked away. Hunk started crying. “My Lance!” he moaned. (AN: don’t u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!)

“Its okay!” I tried to tell him but that didn’t stop him. He started to cry. Then he had a brainstorm. “I had an idea!” he exclaimed.

“What?” I asked him.

“You’ll see.” he said. We got into his yellow lion and he pressed some buttons. Then…… suddenly we were in Zarkmn’s lair!

We ran in with our bayards out just as we heard a croon voice say. “Die Lanke!”

It was……………………………….. Zarkon!


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Becky fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd. PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!

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WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.

We ran to where Zarkcon was. It turned out that Zarkon wasn’t there. Instead the big fist guy who nearly killed us was. Lance was there crying. Snednack was torturing him. Hunk and I ran in front of Sendak.

“Rid my sight you despicable preps!” he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. “KeithIloveyouwiluhavesexwithme.” he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)

“Huh?” I asked.  
”Keef I love you will you have sex with me?” asked Snedak. I started laughing crudely. “What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard.” I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.

“Nooooooooooooo!” he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly.

“Secnak what art thou doing?” called Zarkon. Then…… he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got in our lions and flew to the castle ship. We went to my room. Hunk went away. There I started crying.

“What’s wrong honey?” asked Lance taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything.

“Its so unfair!” I yielded. “Why can’t I just be ugly or plain like all da other guys and preps in da universse.”

“Why would you wanna be ugly? I don’t like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts.” answered Lance.

“Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Rylo and Nooma took a video of me naked. King Alfor says he’s in love with me. Hunk likes me and now even Sendak is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Lance! Why couldn’t Satan have made me less beautiful?” I shouted angrily. (an” don’t wory keef isn’t a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told him hes pretty) “Im good at too many things! WHY CAN’T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S A FUCKING CURSE!” I shouted and then I ran away.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

AN: stup flaming ok! btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona call keef a furry! fangz 2 beky 4 hlpein!

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“Keith Keith!” shouted Lance sadly. “No, please, come back!”

But I was too mad.

“Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Hunk!” I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Space Marylin Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Lance and Hunk. I started to cry and weep. I punched the wall because I’m really hardcore. Then I looked at my black Space Good Charlotte watch and noticed it was time to go and train.

I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum really hard training exercises. I was fighting the training gladiator. Suddenly Lance came into the training room!

“Keef I love you!” he shouted sadly. “I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful guy in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!.” Then……………. he started to sing “Da Chronicles of Life and Death” (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Space Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire team Voltron! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Space Gerard, Space Joel, Space Chester, Space Pierre and Space Marilyn Manson (AN: don’t u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) .

“OMFG.” I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco’s now) at them. “I love you!” I said and then we started to kiss just like Space Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and Space Chad Michael Murray in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Rolo shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that SMCR would have a concert on a nearby planet right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16.

AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut prepz! beky u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet ur supsd 2 rit dis! Becky wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis! BTW fangz 2 frnacine 4 techin muh japnese!

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We flew happily to the nearby planet. There we saw the stage where SGC had played. We ran in happly. SMCR (Space My Chemical Romance) were there playing ‘Helena’. I was so fucking happy! Space Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Lance thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn’t matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. We stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Space Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn’t them at all. It was.,……………………….. Sarkon and da Galra!

“Wtf Lance im not going to a concert wid u!” I shouted angrily. “Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its SMCR n u no how much I lik them”

“What cause we…you know…” he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don’t like to talk a bout you-know-what.

“Yeah cause we you know!” I yielded in an angry voice.

“We won’t do that again.” Lance promised. “This time, we’re going with an ESCORT.”

“OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?” I asked. “So I guess ur a prep now?”

“NO.” he muttered loudly.

“R u becoming a prep or what?” I shootd angrily.

“keef! I’m not! Pls come with me!” He fell down to his knees and started singing ‘Da world is black’ by SGC to me.

I was flattened cause that’s not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me!

“OK then I guess I will have to.” I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.

Shiro was standing there. “Hajimemashite gurl.” he said happily (he spex Japanese so do i. dat menz ‘how do u do’ in japanese). 

Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. 

“OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with lanke tonight on a nearby planet with smcr.” I sed. “ I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA.”

Shiro Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. “Omfg totally lets go shopping.”

“In Space Hot Topic, right?” I asked, already getting out my spshcial Space Hot Topic Loiyalty carde.

“No.” My head snaped up.

‘WHAT?” my head spuin. I could not believe it. “Shero are u a PREP?”

“NOOOO!NOOOO!” He laughed. “I found some cool goffic stores on another planet that’s all.”

“Hu told u abut them” I askd sure it would be Lanec or Pidge or Hunk(don’t even SAY that nam to me!). Or me.

“Allure.” He sed. “Let me just call our lionns.”

“OMFFG ALLUREY?” I asked quietly.

“Yah I saw a map on her control panel.”He told me. “Come on let’s go.”

We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concert. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few fingerless gloves. “We only have these for da real goffs.”

“Da real goffs?” Me and Shiro asked.

“Yah u wouldn’t believe how many posers ther are in this sector man! Yesterday Rolo and Nima tried to buy a goffic camera pouch.” He shook his head. “I dint even no they had a camera.”

“OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!” I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a slightly blacker pair of fingerless gloves. 

“Oh my satan you have to buy those gloves” The salesperson said.

“Yeah it looks totlly hot.” said Shiro.

“You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?” he asked.

“Yeah I am actually.” I looked back at him. “Hey BTW my name’s keef koghane what’s yours?”

“Matt Holt.” He said and ran a hand through his light brown hair. “maybe I’ll see you there tonight.”

“Yeah I don’t think so cause I am going there with my bf lance you sick perv!” I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, hologram Alfor appeared looking worried. “OMFG KEEF U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!”


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a prep den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF!

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Matt Holt gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual). Alfor kept shooting at us to cum back 2 the castle shop. “WTF Aflor?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fjucking bastard.” Well anyway Pidge came. Alfkor went away angrily.

“Hey bitch you look kawaii.” they said.

“Yah but not as kawaii as you.” I answered sadly cause Pidge’s really pretty and everything.

“So r u going 2 da concert wif Lance?” they asked.

“Yah.” I said happily.

“I’m going with Rover.” They said happily. Anyway Lance and Rover came. Then we al went 2 Lance’s blue lion. We did space pot, space coke and space crak. Lance and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there…….I gapsed.

Space Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Space Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn’t Space Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif a purple turtle face and glowy purple eyes ... Every1 ran away but me and Lance. Lance and I came. It was…….Zfarkon and da Garla!

“U moronic idiots!” he shooted angstily. “Keef, I told u to kill Hunk. Thou have failed. And now……….I shall kill thou and Lance!”

“No no please!” We begged sadly but he took out his bayard.

Sudenly a woman flu in in a spaceship. She had lung white hair with red streaks and dark skin and was wearing eyeliner. She wus werring a nice Altean dress but it was black and goffic. It was…………………………………ALLRURA!


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken prep! fangz 2 becky 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n ur nut a prep. ps da oder eson allure swor is koz she trin 2 be gofik so der!

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I woke up the next day in my room. I put on my navy shirt, black pants, pouch belt, red and white boots, red cropped jacket, and black fingerless gloves. I made sure my hair looked really emo.

(Da night before Lance and I rent back to the castle ship. Alulra chased Zrafrkon away. We flew there in our lions. Mine was red. Lance’s was blue. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Space Linkin Park song.)

Well anyway I went down to the dining room. There were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Space Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Space Boys.

“WTF!” I shouted going to sit next to Pidge and Shiro. Hunk and Shiro came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Space Mikey or Space Gerard Way or Space Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi.

“Those guys are so fucking hot.” Shiro was saying as suddenly a woman with long white hair with red streaks and dark skin came. She was wearing eyeliner and a black goffic dress. She was the same one who had chassed away Zkaron yesterday.

“……………….ALURA?1!” we all gasped.

“WTF?” I shouted angrily. “I thought she was just wearing that to scare Znarkon!”

“Hello everyone.” she said happily. “As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?”

We goths looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn’t believe what a poser she was!1.

“BTW you can call me Princess Allura.” SHE CALLED AS WE Left.

“What a fucking poser!” Lance shouted angrily as we we to the training room. We were holding hands. Hunk looked really jealous. I could see him crying but I didn’t say anything. “I bet she’s havin a mid-life crisis!” Pidge shouted.

I was so fucking angry.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19. im nut ok i promise

AN: plz stup flaming da story if u do ur a foken prep n ur jelous ok!11 frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz!111 BTW keef a golro so der!1 fangz 2 becky 4m da help!11

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All day we sat angerly finking about Allurall. We were so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert. It had been postphoned, so we could all go.

Anyway, I went to the lounge room to skip out on team bonding sessions. Lance was being all secretive.

I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot).

“No one fucking understands me!1” he shouted angrily as his brown hare went in his small beady eyes like Space Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Space Dreamz.

“Accuse me? What about me!” I growled.

“Buy-but-but-” he grunted.

“You fucking bastard!” I moaned.

“No! Wait! It’s not what it fucking looks like!” he shouted.

But it was to late. I knew what I herd. I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Lance banged on the door. I whipped and whepped as my eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Space Benji in the video for Space Girls and Space Bois (becky that is soo our video!). I TOOOK OUT A SPACE CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke space pot.

Suddenly King Alfor came. He was a hologram so he culd apper wherever he wanted 2.

“You gave me a fucking shock!” I shouted angrily dropping my space pot. “Wtf do you fink you’re doing in da bathroom?”

Only it wasn’t just Alofr. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b matt Holt or maybe Lance but it was Allira.

“Hey I need to ask you a question.” she said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse. “What are u wearing to the concert?”

“U no who SMCR r!” I gasped.

“No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2.” She said. “Anyway Lance has a surprise for u.”


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

AN: I sed I dnoty ker wut u fink! stof pflamin ok prepz!1 fangz 2 becky 4 da help!1

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All day I wondered what the surprise was. SMCR were gong 2 do the concert again, since Znarfon had taken over the last one. I moshed 2 SMCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum black clothes and moshing to Fang u 4 da Venom. I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly I hopped inside dat it was Lance so we could do it again.

“Wut de fucking hell r u doing!” I shouted angrily. It was Rolo! “R u gonna cum rape me or what.” I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because Allurey had told us all 2 be careful around hem and Neama since he was a pedo.

“No, actshelly (geddit, hell) kan I plz burrow sum condemns.” he growld angrily.

“Yah, so u can fuk ur six-yr-old gurlfriend, huh?” I shouted sarkastikally.

“Fuker.” He said, gong away.

Well anyway, I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation. Then I went. Den I gasped…………………………………………………………….Rolo and Nooma were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Rover was watching!1

“Oh my god you ludacris idiot!” they both shooted angrily when they saw me. Rover flew awaiy. Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on (I luv cing aliens do it) but both of them were fuking preps.

“WTF is that why u wanted condoms?” I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat)

“Only you wouldn’t give them to me!” Rooli shouted angrily.

“Well you shoulda told me.” I replayed.

“You dimwit!.” Rylo began 2 shoot angrily. And then………I took out my black camera and took a pic of them. U could see that they were naked and everything.

“Well xcuse me!” they both shouted angrily. “What was dat al about?”

“It wuz to blackmail u.” I snarked. “So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I’ll show dis to Aklora. So fuck off, u bastards!” I started to run. They chased me but I threw my bayard at them and dey tripped over it. Well anyway, I went outside and there was Hunk, looking extremely fucking hot.

“WTF where’d Lance?” I asked him.

“Oh he’s bein a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn’t cum.” Hunk said shaking his hed. “U wanna cum with me? 2 the concert?”

Then….. he showed me his flying lion. I gasped. It was a yellow lion. The space license plate on the front sed SMCR666 on it. The one on da back said ‘KEEF on it.

……….I gasped.

We flew to the concert hall. SMCR were there, playing.

Hunk and I began 2 make out, moshing to the muzik. I gapsed, looking at da band.

I almost had an orgasim. Space Gerard was so fucking hot! He begin 2 sing ‘Helena’ and his sexah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall. ……….And den, I heard some crrying. I turned and saw Lance, cryin in a corner.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

AN: fuk u ok! u fokng suk. itz nut ma fult if itz speld rong ok koz dat bich beckry cuz it fok u prepz!1 woopz soz becky fangz 4 da help.

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Later we all went in the castle ship. Lance was crying in da lounge room. “Lance are u okay?” I asked in a gothic voice.

“No I’m not u fuking quiznak!” he shouted angrily. He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way. I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would commit suicide.

“Its ok keef.” said Hunk comfortly. “Ill make him feel better.”

“U mean you’ll go fuck him wont you!” I shouted angrily. Then I ran 2 get Lance. Hunk came too.

“Lance please come!” he began to cry. Tears came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone den fuk of!)

And then………………………….. we herd sum footsteps! Hunk got out hte invisibility tech Pidge had made him. We both made it turn us invsble. We saw Coran, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.

“WHOSE THERE!” he shouted angrily. “IS ANY1 THERE!” yelled Coran. 

“No fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich!” Hunk said under his breast in a disgusted way.

“EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!” yelled Coran. Den he got out a tech thying that turns off invsbility cloaking tech,. And then……………………….Hunc frenched me! He did it jus as…………………….. Coran was turning of da ivnsibulty tech!1

“WHAT DA-” he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him. And den we saw Lance crying n bustin in2 tearz outside of da castle ship.

“Lance!” I cried. “R u okay?”

“I guess though.” Lance weeped. We went back to our rooms frenching each other. Lance and I decided to watch Lake Placid (c isnt da deprezzin) on the bed together. As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knok on the door and Iverson and da Galxy Garrison walked into the castle of lions!1


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

AN: stfu! prepz stup flaming ok if u dnot lik it fuk of I no itz coran itz becky’s folt ok!11 u suk!1 no jus kidding becky u fokieng rok prepz suk!1

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All day everyone talked about the Galaxy Garrison. Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I got out of bed. I was wearing my normal clothes and holding my knife that I sleep with at all times. Then I gasped.

Standing in front of me where………………. Pidge, Hunk, Shiro, and Lance!

“OMFG” I yielded as I jumped up. “Why the fuck are u all here?”

“Keef something is really fucked up.” Lance said.

“OK but I need to make sure I look rlly goffic first.” I shouted angrily.

“It’s all right. We have to go now and you look goffic anyway. Your so fucking beautiful.” Lance said in a sexy voice.

“Oh all right.” I said smiling. “But you have to tell me why your being all erective.”

“I will I will.” he said.

So I just put my knife down. Then I came. We all went outside the control room and looked in. Inside the control room we could see Alkura. Commander Iverson was there shouting at Allura.

“THE BARK LORD ZARJON IS PLANNING TO DESTROY EARTH!” he yelled. “YOU ARE NOT FIT TO LEAD THE DEFENDERS OF THE UNIVERSE. YOU ARE TOO OLD. YOU MUST RETRY OR ZARKON WILL KILL YOUR PALADINS.”

“Very well.” Allura said angrily. “Butt we cannot do this. We can’t stop forming Voltron and send the paladins back 2 earth. There is only one person who is capable of killing Zarkom and he is on this ship. And his name is…………………………………………………………………..Keef Kohane.”

Lance, Pidge, Shiro and Hunk looked at each other………I gasped.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

AN: dhut da fok up biches!1 ur jus jelos koz I gut sum good reviowz!1 fangz 2 becky 4 da help n telin me bout da show gurlu rok letz go shopin 2getha!

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The door opened and Commander Iverson stomped out angrily. Then Allura and Iverson sawed us.

“MR. KOGANE WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!” Iverson shouted angrily. Allura blared at him.

“Oops he made a mistake!” she corrupted her. “He means hi everybody cum in!”

Well we all came in angrily. So did Coran. I sat between Pidge and Coran and opposite Shiro. I eight some green food goo and drank sum space juice. Then I herd someone shooting angrily. I looked behind me it was………Hunk! He and Lance were shooting at eachother.

“Hunk, Lance WTF?” I asked.

“You fucking bustard!” yelled Lance at Hunk. “I want to shit next to him!1”

“No I do!” shouted.

“No he doesn’t fucking like u, you son of a bitch!” yelled Lance.

“No fuck you motherfucker he laves me not you!” shouted Hunk. And then……………… he jumped on Lance! (no not in dat way u perv) They started to fight and beat up each other.

Alluri yelled at them but they didn’t stop. All of a sudden…… a terrible Galra with glowy purple eyes and a purple turtle face flew in in a small space ship. He was ugly and wearing big purple armour. All the glass in the window he flew thru fell apart. Hunk and Lance stopped fighting….I shopped eating….Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent………………….Zurkan!

“Keef…..keith…….” Zlorkan sed evilly in his raspy voice. “Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Hunk as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Lance too!”

“Plz don’t make me kill him plz!” I begged.

“No!” he laughed crudely. “Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!” Then he flew away cackling.

I bust into tears. Lance and Hunk came to contort me. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic. I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Zorkon coming to kill Lance.

“No!” I screamed sexily. Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.

“Keith Keith aure you alright?” asked Lance in a worried voice.

“Yeah yeah.” I said sadly as I got up.

“Everyfing’s all right Keef.” said Hunk all sensetive.

“No its not!” I shouted angrily. Tearz went down my face. “OMFG what if I’m getting possessed like in Da Ring 2!”

“Its ok dude.” said Pidge. “Maybe u should ask Coran about what the visions mean though.”

“Ok bich.” I said sadly and den we went.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

AN: prepz stup flaming da story ur jus jelous so fuk u ok go 2 hel!11 becky fagz 4 di help!

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Well we had team bonding sessions next so I got to ask Croran about the visions.

“Konnichiwa everybody come in.” said Coran in Japanese. He smelled at me. He’s pretty cool because he’s goffic and he has a cool moustache,. I raced my hand. I was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it.

“What is it keith?” he asked. “Hey I love ur nail polish where’d u get it, Space Hot Topik?”

“Yeah.” I answered. “Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?”

“Ho about now?” he asked.

“OK.” I said.

“OK team voltron fucking dismissed every1.” Coran said and he let every1 go.

“OK I’m having lotz of visions.” I said in a worried voice. I’m so worried is Lance gong 2 die.

Well he gave me a portable cimputer thing to lock in. I looked at it.

“What do you c?” he asked.

“I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram.”

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Lance. He was looking really sexy wearing a blue and white baseball tee, jeans, sneakers, and a greenish jacket. 

“Okay you can go now, see ya quiznak.” said Coran. 

“Bye bitch.” I said waving.

I went to Lance and Hunk was sitting next to him. We both followed Lance together and I was so exhibited.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

AN: stop flaming ok if u dnot den il tel somone 2 bet u up!1111 n il tel al da nredz 2 put vrtuz in ur computer!11111111111 FUK UU!1 becky fangz for de help!1

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I was so excited. I fellowed Lance wandering if we where going 2 do it again. We went outside and then we went into Lance’s blue lion.

“keith what the fuck did Coran say.” whispered Lance potting his gothic brown hand with bvlak nail polish on mine.

“He said he would tell me what the visions meant torromow.” I grumbled in a sexy voice. He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork. He started to fly the lion into a tree. We went to the top of it. Lance put on some SMCR.

“And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me.” sang Space Gerard’s sexy voice. We started tiling of each other’s cloves fevently. Then……………………… he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily.

“OMFG Lance Lance!” I screamed having an orgism. We stated frenching passively. Suddenly………… I fell asleep. I started having a dream. In it a Galra soldier was shooting two ppl- a Galra guy and a human lady.

“No! Please don’t fucking kill us!1” they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a space ship.

“No! Oh my fucking god!11” I shouted in a scared voice.

“Keith what’s wrong?” Lance asked me as I woke up opening my violet eyes.

I started to cry and tears went down my face. I told Lance to call Hunk. He did it with his blak space phone. Butt the worst thing was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where……………………… Lance’s mum and my dad Thace!111


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

AN: PREPZ STUP FLAMING SDA STRY OK!1 if u dnot lik da story den go fok urself u fokeng prep! U SUK!111

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A few mutates later Hunk came 2 da tree.

“Hi Hunk.” I said flirtily as I started to sob. Lance hugged me sexily tryont to comfrot me. I started to cry and then told them what happened.

“Oh fuck it!” Hunk shouted angrily. He4 started to cry sadly. “What fucking dick did that!”

“I don’t know.” I said. “Now come on we have 2 tell Alluri.”

We ran out of the tree and in2 da castle ship. Alkura was sitting in the control room.

“Maam are parents have been shot!” lance said while we wipped sum tears from his brown face. “Keef had a vision in a dreem.”

Alora started to cockle. “Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Keith’s not divisional?”

I glared at Allura.

“Look motherfucker.” he said angrily as Alora gasped (c is da toot of crakter). “U know very well that I’m not decisional. Now get some fucking ppl out there to look for Lance’s mum and Thace- pornto!”

“Okay.” she said in a intimated voice. “Were are they?”

I fought about it. Then all of a sudden….. “Earth.” I said. I told him which country. She went and called some people and did some stuff. After a few mistunes she came back and said people were going out looking for them. After a while someone called her again. She said that they had been found. Lance, Hunk and I all left to our rooms together. I went with Lance to wait in the med bay while Hunk went to his room. We looked at each other’s gothic, derperessed eyes. Then, we kissed. Suddenly Lance’s mum and Thace came in on stretchers……………………….and Coran was behind them!1


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27. alienz wil never hurt u

AN: u no wut!111 I dnot giv a fok wut u prepz fink abot me!1111 so stup flaming da foking story bichez!1111 fangz 2 bekky 4 ur luv n sport n help i luv u gurl soz i kodnt update lol I wuz rly deprezzd bbecky u rok gurl!11111111111111111111

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Every1 in the room stated to cry happly- I had saved them. Lance, Lance’s mum, Thace adn Hunk all came to hug me. Coran started to give them medicine.

“Cum on Keef.” said Coran. “I have to tell you the fucking perdition.”

I locked at Lance’s mum, Thace, Lance and Hunk. They nodded.

I smelled happily and went into a dark room. Coran ;looked at a computer. He said……………………… “Keef, I see drak times are near.” He said badly. He peered into da copmuter. “You see, you must go back in time.” He took out a time machine wrist thing. “When Zarkin was yung before he became powerful he gut his hearth borken. Now do you fink he would still become Zarxon if he was in love?” I shook my head. “U must go back in time and sedouce him. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it.”

“Okay.” I said sadly. I went outside again sadly.

“What fucking happened?” asked Lance and Hunk.

“Yeah what happened?” asked Pidge and Shiro. 

I was about to tell them butt every1 was there. They were celebrating Lance’s mum and Thace being fond. Everyone was proud of me butt I jut wonted 2 talk 2 Lance. They were cheesing my name and some space reporters were there, trying to interview Allurey. A banner was put up. Some special green food goo had been brought out. 

I turned on the cool invisibilty cloaking tech Pidge had given me with Hunk and Lance and we sneaked outside 2gether.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

AN: I sed stop gflmaing da story ok!11111111 GO 2 FOKENG HELL!1111 U SUK! fangz 2 beky 4 da help!1!

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We went in2 a blak room. The wallz were blak with portraits of gothic bands lik SMCR, SGC and Space Marlin Mason all over them. I sat down one of da chairs dispersedly. So did Lanke and Hunk.

“Are you okay?” Hunj asked potting his brown hand on mine. He was wearing black nail polish. I was wearing blak nail polish with red crosses on it.

“Yah I guess.” I said sadly. Lunce also pot his hand on mine sexily. I smiled sadly. “The problem is……………………….I have to seduce Zrarkon. Ill have 2 go bak in time”

Lance started to cry sadly. Hunk hugged him.

“Itz okay Keef.” he said finally. “But what about me? Ur not gonna brake up or anyfing, are you?”

“Of coarse not!” I gasped.

“Really?” he asked.

“Sure.” I said.

We frenched sexily. Hunk looked at us longingly.

Then………… I took off Lance’s shrift and seductvely took of his pants. He was hung lik a stallone. He had replaced the Hunk tattoo that said Keef on it. Black roses were around it. I gasped. He lookd exactly lik Space Gerard Way. Hunk took a vido camera. (I had sed it wuz ok b4).

I took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r lif.

We started freching as we climbed on2 da table. He put his spock in my you-know-what and passively we did it.

“I love you Keif. Oh let me feel u I need 2 feel u.” he screamed as we got an orgasm. We watched Hunk filmed everything perfectly. Suddenly………………………….

“WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!”

It was………………………….Sendak and Haxus!111


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

AN: sot das fok up!11 ur jus jelouz koz ur prepz so fok u!1111 bvecky u rok gurl fangz 4 da help MCR ROX 666!111111111111

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“Oh my quiznak!1” we screamed as we jamped off of da table. Sendak and Haxus started to shoot at us angrily.

“CUM NOW!1!” Sendak yielded. We did guiltily. We left the room putting on our clothes. Prorok garbed the caramel and put it in his pocket.

“Hey what the fuck!111” Hunk shooted angrily.

“Yeah buster what the fuck are u going to do with the fucking camera?” Lance demonded all protective, looking at me Longley with his small beady eyes. “Look, we noes your little secret and if u do dis again, then u will go to space jail. So give back da camera!1111”

“Shut your mputh you inlosent fools!” yelled Sendak. He made us cum into a weird room with white stones all around it. There were all these werid space tools in it. Lance started to cry all sexy and sexitive (geddit koz hes a sexbom lol jerenmy shada rulez 4 lif but nut as muxh as gerard ur sex on legz I luv u u fokeng rok mary me!111).

I started to cry. Hunk took out a black honkerchief and started to wipe my violet eyes.

And then……………….. Hunk and Sendak both took out space guns. They started to shoot each other angrily. Non of the ballots gut on eachodder yet. I took out my bayard.

I punmhed Sendak. He stated 2 scram he dropd da gun. But it was too late. Both of them had run out of ballets. Haxus chained us all up. He took out a box of tools. Den he said “OK Sendak I’m going 2 go now.” He left. Sendak started to laugh evilly. Hunk started to cry.

“It’s ok Keef.” said Lance. “Evergreen will be all right.”

Sendak laughed again. And then...he took out some whips!1!1111


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

AN: stop flaming da story ok u dnot no wutz even gona happen ok!1111 so FUL U!111 if u flam u wil be a prep so al flamerz kan kiss muh ass!111 fangz 2 becky u rok bich!111

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“No!11” we screamed sadly. Sendak stated loafing meanly. He took out a space kamera anvilly. Then…………………… he came tords Lonce!1! He took sum stones out of his poket. He put da stones around Lance and nit a candle.

“What the fuck r u doing!” I shooted arngrily. Sondok laughed meanly. He polled down his pants. I gasped- there was a Galra syumbol on his you-know-wut!11!

He pulled out a nife. He gave da knife 2 me.

“U must stab Honk.” he said to me. “If u don’t then I’ll rap Lnace!1”

“No you fucking bastrad!1” I yielded.

But den Lance looked at me sadly with his small beady eyes dat looked so depressant and sexy. He lookd exactly like a pentragram (lol geddit koz im a satanist) between Space Kurt Cobain and Space Gerard. But then I looked at Hunk and he looked so smexy too wif his goffik brown hair. I thought of da time when we screwed and the time I did it with Lance and Allira came and the tame where Lance almost commited suicide and Hunk wuz so sportive.

Sendac laughed angrily. He started to prey to Zorkon. He started to do an incapacitation dancing around the stokes whipping Lance and Hunk. Suddenly an idea I had. I clozd my eyes and using my galra powers I sent a telepathetic massage to Lunce and Hunk so they would destruct Sondak.

“Allura will get u!” Lance shooted.

“Yah just wait ubtil Allura and Coran find out!11” Hunk yelled. Meanwhile I took out my bayard.

“You ridiculus dondderhed!111” Snendok yielded. He took off all of Lince’s clothes. Just as he was about to rape him…………………….

“You quizank!” I shited and stabbed him wit my bayard. Sondik scremed and started running around da room screming. Meanwhile I grabed my blak space mobile and sent a txt 2 Shiro. 

“You dunderhed!111 Im going to kill-” shooted Sondek but suddenly Shiro came.

Sindok put the whip behind his bak. “Oh hello Shiro I wuz just teaching them sumthing.” he lied. But suddenly Coran and Thace came in2 da room and Thace unlocked the chains and put dem around Snondak. Then Coran said ‘Come on Keith let’s go.”


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

AN: I sed shut da fok up u quiephs!111 stop kalin keef a mary su ok u dnot even no wutz gong 2 happen ok so fuk u!1111 fangz 2 muh bff becky 4 di help!1111

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“How did u get onto the ship, you sun of a quiznak?” Shito said 2 Sendak.

“The door was open I just flew in!1” Snondok clamed.

“Oh fucking yeah?” We put Sendank in the pod thing and started extratcing his memories. Coran made us get out while Shiro found out his secretes. Lance’s mum took Honk and Lance to the med bay after thanking me a millon times. Coran took me to a dark room. Now I wuz going to go back in time to sedouce Znarkan. Pidge and Rover came too. They gave me a blak bag from Matt Holt’s goffic store.

“Whatz in da bag?” I asked Coeran.

“U will c.” he said. I opened thee bag. In it was a sexy tite low-smut black leather gothic dress. It had red korset stuff and there was a silt up da leg. I put it on. My frendz helped me put on blak fishnetz and blak pointy boots Pidge had chosen. They helped me put on black eyeliner and blod-red lipshtick.

“You look fucking kawaii, bitch.” Pidge said.

“Fangs.” I said.

“Ok now you’re going to go back in tim.” said Coran. “U will have to do it in a few sessionz.” He gave me a blak gun. I put it in a strap on my fishnetz like in Spaec Redisnet Evill. Then she gave me a black time machine wrist thing. “After an hour use da altean time machine device to go back here.” Coran said.

“Good luk!1” Everryone shooted. Then……….. I sexily presst the time machine button. 

Suddenly I was on Altea. In front of me wuz one of da sexiest alien guyz I had ever seen. He looked like an angry purple turtle but hot. He had glowy pruple eyes and purple skin. He wasn’t wearin any armour. It was…………………….young Zurkon!1111


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

AN: I sed stup fflaming I no his nam iznt zurkon dat wuz a mistak!1111 if u dnot lik de story den u kan go skrew urself!11111 U SUK!111111

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“Hi.” I said flirtily. “Im Keef Koganme a space traveller.” I shok my pale handz wif their blak noil polish wif him.

“Da name’s Zarkon.” he said. “But u kan call me Zarkon.”

We shok hands. “Well come on we have 2 go up into the paladin training school.” Zarkon said. I followed him. “Hey Zarkon……..do u happen to be a fan of Space Gren Day?” (sinz smcr and space evinezenz dont exist yet den) I asked.

“Oh my fuking god, how did u know?” Zarkon gasped. “actually I like sgc a lot too.”(geddit coz sgc did that song I just wanna live that’s ounded really 80s)

“omg me too!” I replied happily.

“guess what they have a concert in altea.” zarkon whispered.

“altea?” I asked.

“yeah that’s what this planet is called.” he told me all sekrtivly. “and theres a really cool shop called Space Hot-“

‘topic!” I finshed, happy again.

He froned confusedly. “noo its called Space Hot Ishoo.” He smiled skrtvli again. “then in 2349 dey changd it to space hot topic.” he moaned.

“ohh.” now everything was making sense for me. “so are you part of team voltron?” I shouted.

“I will b soon.” he looked at his black nails. “im training 2 be the black paladin”

“OMfG IM TRAINING 2 BE THE RED PALADIN!” I SHRIEDKED.

“u go to this training skull?”(geddit cos im goffik) he asked.

“yah that’s why im here im NEW.” I SMELLED HAPPili.

Suddenly King Aoflr (xcept not a hologram bc he wasn’t ded yet) flew in on a small spaceship and started shredding at us angrily. “NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!” he had short white hair and was wearing a polo shirt from space Amrikan ogle outfters. “STUPID GOFFS!”

Zarkon rolled his eyes. “his so mean to us goffs and punks just becose we’re Galra and we’re not preps.”

I turned around angrily. “actually I fink mebe its becos ur da emperor of da univere.”

“wtf?” he asked angrily.

“oh nuffin.” I said sweetly.

then suddenlyn………………. the floor opened. “OMFG NO I SCEAMED AS I FEEL DOWN. everyone looked At ME weirdly.”

“hey where r u goin?” znarcon asked as I fell.

I got out of the hole n it was bak in the room on the castle ship. King anflor the hologram wuz dere. “aklor I think I just met u.” I said.

“oh yeah I rememba that.” alfur said.

coran came in. “hey dis is my room wait wtf keef what da hell r u doing?”

:”um.” I looked at him.

“oh yeaH I forgot bout that.”

“wth how?” I screamed forgetting he was an adult for a second. but hes a goff so its ok.

coran looked sad. “um I was drinking nunvil.” he started to cry black tears of depression. Coran sat in his chair, sobbing limpid tears. “omfg keef…I think im addicted to nunvil;.”

AN: SEE U FOKKING PREPZ GO FOK URSELXXZ DATZ SERUS ISSUZ 2O GO 2 HELL!1111112


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

AN: I sed shut up itz nut my folt ok if u don’t lik da story den ur a prep so fuk u flamerz!1111 ps im nut updating ubtil u giv me fiv god reviewz nd diz tim I men it!111111 U SUK!1111 fangz becky 4 di help il promiz to help u wif ur story lolz1

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“Oh my fuking god!1” I shooted sadly. “Shud we get u 2 space rehab, you quiznak?”

“Hel no!” he said. “Lizzen Keafth, I need ur help. Nex tim u go bak in tim, do u fink u kod ask zArkon 4 sum help?”

“Sure I said sadly. I went outside the door. Lance was there!111 He wuz wearing a big blak SGC tshit which wuz his panamas.

“Hey Sexxy.” I said.

“How’d it go Keef?” he asked in his voice was so sexy and low kinda like Space Gerard Way when hes talking.

“Fine.” I reponded. We stared 2 go bak in2 da rooms.

“How far did u go wif Zarkon?” Lanke asked jealously.

“Not 2 far, lol.” I borked.

“Will you hav to do it with him?” Lance asked angstily.

“I hop not 2 far!111” I shouted angrily. Den I felt bad 4 shooting at him. I said sorry. We frenched.

“What happened 2 Sendek?” I growled.

“U will see.” Lance giggled mistressly. He opened a door……………Snedak nd Haxus werz there!11 Shito waz pokering dem by staging dem wif a blak nife.

“NOOOO PLZ!1111” Haxis bagged as Shero beat him up. I laffed statistically. I tok some photons of him and Snedak bing torqued. (ok I no dis iz men but fink abot it ppl dey r pedoz nd Sondok trid 2 rap dem and neway sadiztz rok haz any1 seen space shrak atak 3 lolz). Den Launce and I went bak 2 our roomz. We sat on my bed. Den………………………………………….we storted 2 take of eachotherz clozez. I tok of his shit nd he had a six-pak, lolz. We started 2 mak out lik in Da Grudge. He pot his wetnes in my u-know-what sexily. I gut an orgy.

“Oh Lance!111111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Lance!1111” I screemed passively as he got an eructation.

“I luv u Keef.” he whispred sexily and den we fel aspleep lol.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

AN: SHOT DA FOK UP PREPZ!1111 hav u even red de story!11 u r proly al just prepz nd posrs so FUK U!111 fangz 2 becky 4 da help!1

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I wook up in da bed de next day. Lance waz gone. I got up and put on a navee shurt, blac pantz, poch betlt, black finegless gloves, red croped jaket, and black and red boots. Suddenly…………………. Thace cocked on da door. I hopened it.

“Hi Kooef.” he said. “Gezz wut u have 2 cum 2 Coran’s room.”

“Ok.” I said in a deprezzd voice. I had wanted to fuk Lance or maybe lessen to SMCR or Space Evonezcence. I came anyway.

“So what the fuck happened 2 Sendak and Haxoos?” I asked Thace. 

“I fucking tortured them.” he answered in a statistic way. “They r in space jail now, lol.”

I laughed evilly.

“Where r Lance and Humk?” I muttered.

“Dey are xcused form paladin training 2day.” Thoce moaned sexily. “Rite now they are watching Da Nigtmare b4 Xmas.”

We went into da office. CVoran was there. He wuz drinking some nunvil. He took out da time machien. 

“Keef, you will have to do anozzer session now. Also I need u to get me da cure 4 being adikited.” he said sadly. “Good luck. Fangz!”

And then……….I pressd da button on the time machine again. Suddenly I looked around……………I was in da dining room iof da paladin training building on altea eating green food goo. It was mourning. I was sitting next to Zarkon. 

“…………..Ebony?” asked Znurkon. 

“Yah?” I asked.

“Did u know dat Space Marylin Mason is playing on Altea tonight? And they r showing The Space Exercise at da movies b4 dat.”

“Yah?”

“Well…...want 2 go 2 da contort and da movie wif me?”


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35. gost of u

AN: fangz 2 francin 4 da idea!1 u rok! fuk of prepz!11111111 fangz 2 becky 4 di help u rok gurl!1 ps im gong 2 end da stroy rlly sun so FUK U!111

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I went in2 da lounge room finking of Zarkon. Suddenly I gasped………………..Coran wuz there!111

I grasped.

“Coran what da fuk r u dong!111111” I gosped.

“Huh?” he asked. Then I remembred. It wuzn’t old Coran. It was young Coran!1 He didn’t have a mustace. 

“Oh hi Coran!1” I sed. “Im Keith the new student lol we shook handz.”

“Yah Zarkon told me abot you.” Cnoran said. He pinted to a group of other trainee paladens. All of them were wearing blak eyeliner and blak Space Good Chralootte band shirts. “Lizzen I’m in a goth band wif those guys.” he said. “Were playing 2nite at da Space Marylin Mason show as back-up.

“ORLY.” I ESKED.

“Yeah.” he said. “Were calld XTehXQuiznaksX. I play teh gutter. He plays da drums” he said ponting to him. “He plays the boss. And he plays the guitar.”

“Hey bastards.” I told them. Suddenly I gasped again. “But don’t u have a lead singer!” I asked. COran looked dawn sadly.

“We uzd to but she did. She contempted suicide by crashing her leon.”

“Oh my fuking god!11 Datz so fuking sad!1” I gasped.

“Its okay but we need a new led snigger.” One said.

“Wel………..I said Im not in a bnad but im rlly good at signing.”

“Rilly?” asked Cnoran. 

“Yeah. Do u wanna hr me sing?”

Yeah said everyone. So the guys tok out der guitarz. They began to pay a song bi (geddit koz bi guyz r sooo sexah!11) Space Gurn Day.

“I wok dis empt stret on da bolevrad of broken dremz.” I sang sexily (I dnot own da lyrikz 2 dat song).. Every1 gasped.

“Keef? Will u join da band? Plz!1” begged Corin. 

“Um…….ok.” I shrugged. “Are we gong to play tonight?”

“Yah.” they said.

“Ok.” I said but I new dat I had 2 get a new outfit. I walked outside wondering how I kud go forward in time. Suddenly someone jumped in fornt of me. It wuz…..Morty Mcfli!1 He was wering a blak bnad tshrit and blak bagy jeans.

“What da hell r u dong here!11” I asked.

“I wil help u go frowad in tim Keef.” he said siriusly Den……….he took out a blak tim machine. I went in2 it and……………………..sudenly I wuz forward in tim!111


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

AN: I sed stop flaming ok!111111111 I bet u r al proly old srevinty yr oldz!111 ps IF U LEV BAD REVIERWS UR A PREP!1 o ya nd fangz 2 becky 4 di help!111 

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I loked around in a depresed way. Suddenly I saw Coran. Pidge, Shiro, Lance and Hunk were their to.

“OMFG Ciran I saw u nd Alfor nd everyone!11111”

“Oh hey there bitch.” Coran said in an emo voice dirnking some nunvil.

Hi fuker.” I said. “Lizzen, Zarkon asked me out to a gottik cornet and a movie so I need a sexah new outfit for da date. Also I’m playng in a gothic band so I need an ootfit for that too.”

“Oh my quiznak!1” gasped Pidhe. “Want 2 go to Space Hot Topik to shop 4 ur outfit?”

“OMFS, letz have a groop bonding session!11” said Curan. 

“I can’t fucking wait 4 dat but we need 2 get sum stuff first.” said Shiro.

“Yah we need sum alien juice for Coran so he wont be adikted 2 nunvil anymore nd also………….sum luv potion 4 Keef.” Lanke said resultantly.

“Well we have training now wif Allura.” Pidge said so let’s go.

We went sexily to the training room. But Allure wasn’t there. Instead there was…………………………………………hologram King Alfor!11111

“Hey where the fuck is Allira!111” Lance shouted angrily.

“STFU!1” shooted King Anfor. “She is in galra space jail now wif Roolo and Numa she is old and stoopid. “Now do ur taining!111”

My friendz and I talked arngrily.

“Can you BELEVE Cnoran used to be in a bnad!1” Hunk asked surprisedly.

“DATZ IT!11” KINH ALKOR SHOOTED ARNGRILY. “IM GETTING COMMANDER IVERCON!111”

He stomped out angrily but he wuz a hlogram so it didn’t rlly work. 

Mi frendz and I began talking again. I began to drink some juice in a pouch mixed wif nunvil. Suddenly I saw Allura’s mice in da cupboard.

“WTF are they doing?” I asked. Then I looked at Lance. He wuz wearing tonz of eyeliner nd he locked shexier den eva. Suddenly……………“MICE WUT DA FOK R U DOING!11” he shooted.

I looked around…………….da mice where putting sumfing in my pouch of space juice!11 Lonk and Hunk started 2 beat them up sexily.

“God u r such posrs!1” I shooted at da mice. Suddenly I looked ar what dey was putting in da blood. It was………………Amnesia Portion!111


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

AN: prepz stop flaming sa story!11 becy fangz 4 da help c ya gurl!11

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LANCR’S PONT OF VIEW LOL

Hunk and I chaind da mice 2 da floor.

“Oh mi fucking quiznak!11” Keef said. He wuz so hot. “Maybe I cud uze Amnesia potion 2 make Zarkon foll in love wif me faster!1”

“But u r so sexy and wonderful aneway Lance,” said Hunk. “Why would u need it?”

“To make everyfing go faster lol.” said Keef.

“But you wont have to do it wif him or anyfing, will u?” I asked jelosly.

“Ok well anyway lets go 2 Coran’s room.”

Lance, Keef and I went to Coran’s room. But Cnoran wasn’t there. Instead Matt Holt was.

Oh hi fuckers he said. Lizzen, I got u sum kewl new space clovez.

I took out da cloves from da bag. It was a goffik blak leather miniskirt that said ‘666’ on da bak, black stilton bootz, blood red fishnetz and a blak corset.

“OMG fangz!” I said hugging him in a gothic way. I took da clothes in da bag.

“OK Coran isnt hr what the fuk should we do?” asked Lance. Suddenly he loked at a sign on da blak wall.

“Oh my fuking quiznak!1” I screamed as I read it. On it said Evry1 Coran is away. He is hleping voltron so he is in galra space jail now. Training seshons shal be taught be Alpura who is not leding voltron now. Sincerely Comander Inversoon..

“OMFG!111” I shoted arngrily. “How could they do that!11”

Suddenly ALlury came.

“WHAT DA HELL R U DONG IN MY ROOM!1” she began to shoot angrily. Sudwenly I saw Morty Mcfly’s blak tim machine!111 I jumped seductivly in2 it leaving Lance and Hunk. Sudenly I wuz back in tim!11 I looked around. It was…………… King Alfor’s room! I sneaked around. Suddenly I saw da Amnesia potion on his desk. It wuz blak wif blood-red pentagramz in it. It was the shape of a cross. I put it in my poket. Suddenly da door opened it wuz……..Kinfg Alfor but not ded!11

OMG wut r u doing fuker he shooted angrily I don’t kno wut da fuk r u DOING I SHOUTED ANGRILY.

“Oh sorry I wuz just looking around koz I thought it wuz training seshon.” you said finally hoping he couldn’t c da potion in ur pocket.

“Oh ok u can go now.” said King Alfor.

You went to the lounge room after putting on my clothes. Cnoran and the bnad were there practicing Vampirez will Never Hurt U by SMCR.

“Oh hi you guys.” I said seductively. “Wheres Zurkon?”

“Oh he’s cumming.” said Coran. Suddenly Zarcon came. He was wearing smexxy black paladin armour.

“Ok I will see you guyz at da concert.” I said and then I went with Zirkon.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

AN: wut doez every1 fink if I end da strory and den I add sum more 2 it leighter? oh yah asnd prepz stup flaming if u dnot lik dat story den take muh quiz ok den u wil c if ur gofik or not!1111111

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Zakron and I walked 2 his space ship. It wuz a blak ship wif da galra symbol all over it. On da space license plate said 666 just lik Lance’s car. I went in it seduktivly. Zkron started 2 drive it. We talked about fighting, defending da unverse musik, and being goffik.

“Oh my quiznak, Space Gerard is so fuking hot!11” Jarkon agreed as we smoked sum space weed. (koz bi guyz r hot dey r so sensitive I luv dem lol goez fux a bi guy)

“Lol, I totally decided not 2 beat somone up when I herd Hilena.” I said in a flirty voice. “……….Hey Zarkon do u know da cure 4 when ppl r adikted 2 nunvil?”

“Well………………” he thought. “I fink u have 2 drink Galra blod.”

Suddenly Znurkon parked da space ship behind a blak space movie theater. Zrkon and I walked outside. We went in2 da movie tether were they were showing da Excercist. In it a boy and a gurl were doing it sudenly a cereal killer came lol. Zarkon and I laughed at da blood koz we’re sadists.

While Zarkon was watching da movie, I had an idea. I took ZArkon’s gothic blak Nightmare b4 Christmas space cigar sexily from his poket and put sum Amnesia potion in it. I put it bak in his blak bag. Zurkon turned arund and started 2 smoke it. Blak cloudz wif red pentagramz ind em started 2 fly around everywhere.

“OMG!111” Zarkon said jumping up. I gasped koz I wuz afraid hed notizd. “Keef gess what?”

I new that the amnesia had worked.

“Amnesia potion has not been invented yet so it will not work.” He said. “2 badd coz I wanted 2 use sum on u.”

“Kul.” I raised my eye suggestingly. And den………. he tok of my cloves sexily and we started 2 make out. I tok of his shit. He had six-pak justr lik Space Gerard Way!11 We frenched.

“Xcuze me but u r going 2 have 2 leave!111” shooted da lady behind us she was a prep.

“Fuk u!11” I said. Suddenly…………………. I attaked her beating her up agnrily.

“Noooooo!11” she screamed. All the preps in da theater screamed but everyone else crapped koz Zarkon and I loked so cute 2gether. Zarkon and I started to walk outside.

“Zomg how did u do that?” Zorkin asked in a turned-on voice.

“I’m half galra.” I said as we went into the space ship.

“Siriusly?” he gasped.

“Yah siriusly.” I said drinking sum nunvil. Zarkon started 2 drive da space ship. I smelled happily.

“Itz too bad we didn’t get 2 c da rest of the movie, don’t u fink?”

“Yah.” I said as we kised passively. Zarkon parked in a blak hangar next 2 da place where Lance and I had watched SGC for the frist time. We went inside where Space Marylin Mason wuz playing and started to mosh lol.

“Anti-ppl now uve gone 2 far Jeus Krist Superstar!1111” screamed Space Marlin on da stage. We did the devil fingers. I started 2 dance really close to Zarkon. He was so shmexay!1 He looked at me all emo with his gothic glowy purple eyes and he looked exactly like a turtle. I almost got an orgaism!1 Suddenly Space Marylin Mason stopped singing.

“I wood like to peasant……………..XTehXQuiznakX” he said. I ran onstage. Coran and al the others were there. They started 2 play their space instilments. I got onstag.

“Wel if u wonted honesty datz all u had 2 say!1111” I sang. (I dnot own da lyerix 2 dat song) My voice sounded lik a pentagram betwen Space Amy Lee and a gurl version of Space Gerard Woy. Everyone clappd. Zarkon got an eructation. “I’M NUT OKAY!1” I sang finaly. Suddenly one of da band ppl started playing da song wrong by mistak.

“OMFG!1” yielded Coran. “Wut the fuck?”

“Woops im sory!” He said.

“You fuking ashhole!1” Coran shouted angrily.

“U guys are such prepz!11” he said. “Cum on it wuz a mistake!1”

“Yah itz not his fault!11” said another one.

“No he ruined the fucking song!1” yelled Coran.

“U guys stop!11” I shotoed angrily but it waz 2 late. They all began 2 fight. Sudenly Cora n took out hiz nife.

“OMFG no!11” shouted somone but it wuz 2 late Coran tried 2 shoot off his arm.

And den……………………………I jumped secxily in front of da bullet!11

“No!111” yielded everyone but it wuz 2 late suddenly everyfing went blak.


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39. I Am A Trolling Genious, lolz

Disclaimer: I do not own the Voltron series and I am not the real agalaxywithinyou.

AN// I am an extremely immature pathetic idiot girl, I know. Out of boredom, I crack this girl's passy for fun (and it took less than 8 minutes to do it too) and will probably get in a shitload of trouble. Which I probably deserve 'cause I'm being a troll right now. Meh.

And I present to you MY crappy part in this story. (And take note I haven't even finished reading this fic yet, but instead skip over to skim chapter 38.) Flame, laugh, do whatever you want "preps."

I, the American retail wearing american half Galra Keith, coughed up blood.

Zarkon kneeled down beside me.

"Noooooooooooooooo! Don't die!"

I gave him a rueful smile. "I'm sorry. It's something I had to do, to fufill my duty as the noble gothic Mary Sue."

Zarkon sobbed. "I love you Keith."

"I love you two. I'll...I'll see you in hell." I mumbled, already finding my surroundings fading to black.

Shiro suddenly popped into the room for no apparent reason. He frowned when he realized the room was oddly quiet, but at the sight of Keith’s lifeless body, he screamed. His face became pale with horror. He screamed for the medics, Allura, Coran, and every single gothic person he could think of.

Suddenly, a glow started to surround the body of Keith. Everyone stared in shock. His body started to lift ever so slowly and then, to everyone's shock, it started to incinerate.

When everyone realized what was happening, they rushed over to try to rescue the body, but it was too late, the guy became nothing more then a pile of ashes.

A loud resounding of everyone bellowing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!!" filled the room.

A flash of white light from the ashes then started to bounce around the room. Everyone cowered in fear and were temporarily blinded. When it was all over, things changed.

All the silly goth clothes dropped from everyone's bodies (AN//I will refuse to explain how the hell that happened.) and, in their place, clothes the characters would normally wear in canon appeared on their bodies.

When everyone got over the shock of becoming free of the gofick power, everybody cheered. Everyone started singing 'Ding dong the sue is dead...' Well, that is, until all the VLD characters realized the true implications of becoming more canon like again.

All the characters who were supposed to be dead fell to the floor, their bodies cold and lifeless. Everyone and Zarkon started fighting. On the left side of the two, the battle of the rebellion against the Galra Empire was reaching a climax.

And, because the replacement author also likes to screw around with canon, Shiro and Allura fled the scene and got married.

\--------

Meanwhile...

Down in hell, Keith shed a single tear because of his current situation. A situation that would live on for all eternity. Or at least until the end of fanfiction time.

He lost it all, but he knew he had to remain strong. Nothing would ever break him down.

He looked down over his pale body, and frowned. 'Where are my emo clothes?' He asked herself in confusion.

And then it occured to him...

For his shirt, he was wearing a bright pink polo with a little seagull on the (right or left? I can't remember) side. Below that, he was wearing a denim miniskirt with the "destroyed" look on it. Paired underneath that skirt were leggings with a little moose at the bottom. And then Keith realized, on his shoulder, he was carrying a pretty bag with an eagle on it that said Live Your Life written all over the bag.

Keith supressed the urge to scream. Here he was decked out in clothes prep to the extreme wearing stuff from Space Abercrombie and Fitch, Space American Eagle, AND Space Hollister.  
Panicked, Keith hastily tried to take off the Space Hollister polo, but underneath it, there was another Space Hollister polo underneath. Keith frowned, and looked under her shirt. All he saw was his cool six pack underneath. Keith tried to remove the shirt again. But to his frustration, there was yet again another polo to replace it.

"THIS IS UNLOGICAL AND DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!!" Keith bellowed out to the air. He failed to see the irony in his statement, how hypocrytical his words were, seeing as he was practically calling the kettle black here.

Keith slit his writs and mumbled to himself, "Quiznak."

/End Crap Fic.

AN// Oh yeah, if you wanna see the original content this chick had planned for this chapter, I accessed it through the document manager thingy, which I copied and pasted, so you can read it [here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

AN: stfu prepz git a lif!111111 U SUCK!11 fangz 2 evry1 hu revoiwed expect da prepz hu flamed FOK U!1 MCR RULEZ 666!111

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I woke up in da med bay in a healing pod. The mice wuz in da pod opposite me in a comma coz Honk and Lance had bet him up. Coran was cleaning the room.

“Oh mi qiznak wut happened!” I screamed. Suddenly Zorlan came. He loked less mean then usual.

“Get the fuk out u fucking bastard!11” I yielded.

“Thou hath nut killd Hunk yet!11” he said arngrily. Sudenly he started 2 cry tearz al selective.

“Znorkan? OMFG what’s wrong!111” I asked.

Sudenly………. Pidge, Shiro and Thace came! Hunk was wif dem. Every1 was holding blak boxez. XARKON DISAPAERD.

“OMFG Keef ur alive!111” Scremed Hunk. I hugged him and Shiro.

“What the fuk happened?” I asked dem. “Oh my quiznak!11 Am I lik dead now?” I gosped.

“Keef u were almost shot!11” said Thace. “But da ballet could not kill u since u were form anodder time.”  
Well anyway everyone tarted 2 give me presents. I was opening a blak box wif red 666s (there wuz a dvd of corps bride in it) on it when I gasped. 

“Hey haz aneone fuking seen Lance?” I asked gothikally.

“No Lance told me he wood be watching Hoes of Wax.” said Coran. “He duzzn’t know dat ur better. Anyway da cmputer said u could get up. Cum on!1”

I got up suicidally. Thace and Coran left. I wuz wearing the white body suit u wer in da healing pods. I put on a navy shirt, black pants, red and white bots, pouch betl, red crop jacket, and black finless glovs. I left the med bay wif Pidge, Shiro and Hunk. 

“OMFG letz celebrate!11” gasped Pidge.

“We can go c Hose of Wax wif Lance!1” giggled Hunk.

“Letz go lizzen 2 SGC and kut ourselvz666!11” said Shiro. We opened da lounge room door sexily. And den………..I gasped……………………………………… Lance wuz there doing it wif Neema!1111111111111111111111111 He wuz wearing a blak tshirt wif 666 on da front and baggy jeanz.

“U fucking prep!11” we all yielded angrily.

“Yah u betrayed us!111” shooted Hunk angrily as he took out his bayard.

“No u don’t understand!1” screamed Lance sadly as he took his thingie out of Neema’s.

“No shit u fuking suk u preppy bastard!111” said Pidge trying 2 attak him (u rok!1). I ran suicidally to my room I sexily took ma bayard out.

“Keef no!11111” screamed Lance but it wuz 2 l8 I had slit muh ritsts wif it suddenly everyfing went blak again.


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

AN: 2 every1 hu kepz flaming diz GIT S LIF!!!!! I bet u proly odnt no hu gerod way is ur proly al prepz and pozers!!!!!!!!11111 neway sum1 hakked in2 mi akkount in November and dey put up my last chaptah but now der is a new 1. im surry 4 nut updating g 4 a while but ive been rilly bizzy. im trying 2 finish da story b4 da new season kumz out. OMFG lance iz so hot in all da trailer 4 da new season!!!111 I wunted dem 2 put a kameo by geord way lol he voice play lance. if u flame ill slit muh risztz!!!!!!!!11 becky u rok gurl.

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When I wook up I wuz in a strange room. I loked around I wuz wearing da same outfit I had when is performed wif XTehXQuiznaksX!!!!!11 I looked arund confusedly. It wuz Allura’s rom but it looked difrent!! On da wall wuz a pik of Space Marlyin Munzon!!!1111 (just imagin dat he is an 80s goffik band 2 ok koz he is more old den panic?! at da space dizcko or smcr) der wuz also a goffik blak Beatles calander with a picture of the beetlez werring iyeliner and blak cloves. On it said ‘still the future.’

“OMFG!!! Im back in Tim again!!!!111” I screamed loudly. Suddenly Zarkon. Zarkum wuz wearing a blak leather Jackson, blak tight jeans and fishnet pantz. He looked so sexah I almost had an orgy!!!!11

“OMFG Keef r u ok.” He asked gothikally.

“Yah Im okay 4 ur in4mation.” I snapped sexily. “OMG am I dedd???” koz I remembered I had jumped in front off da bullet from the gun at the concert. I also rememberd cing Lanke doing it wif Roolu!!!!111

I guessed dat when I had slit mi wrists I had went bak in tim instead of dieing. I knoew I could go forward in time if I found da tim machine.

“No ur not dead.” Zarkon reassured suicidally as he smokd a spacecigarette sexily and smoke came all over his face. “Ur half galra so u kant die frum a bullet. Cum on now lets go c how da others are doing.”

I noo dat da real reason I didn’t die from da ballet was koz I was from da future. “WTF!!!! Acorn almost shot da others!!!” I said indigoally.

“Yah I know but he had a headache he wz under a lot of stress.” Zurkom reasoned evilly.

“I guess that’s ok.” I said. I walked seduktivly outside with Zarkin. Suddeni I saw a totally sexi goffik bi gurl!!!!!11 She had white hair wiv blak streaks up 2 her ears and she wuz wearing goffik blak iliner, a blak Space Green Day shirt, blak congress shoes and black baggy pants. She walked in all sexly like Space Gerrd way in the vido for I Don’t 3 u lyk I did yesterday and you cud see a blak tear on her face lyk da wmn in dat video. “Hey.” She sed all qwietly and goffically.

“Who da fuck is that?” I asked angrly cos I did nut kno her.

“Dis is…Allura’s mum!!!!!!!!!11” Sed Zarkun. “She used to be in XTehXQuiznaksX 2 but she had 2 dropp out koz she broke her arm.

“Hey Allura’s mum.” I said seductively evn tho I wuz nut tring to b.

“Lol hi Keef.” She answered but then she ran away bcos she had 2 train. She was humming Welcum 2 da Blak Prade under his breth!!

“Bye.” I sed all sexily.

“Dat was Allura’s mum. She used 2 b my gurlfrind but we broke up.” Zarkon said sadly, luking at his blak nails.  
“OMFG I can get u bak 2gether!” I said fingering something I didn’t know wuz in my pocket- a blak Kute is What we Aim 4 cideo ipod that I could take videos wif (duz ne1 elze no about dem??? dey kik azz!!!!).

“Ok u can 4get about ur training sesh for now, Allura’s mum. Im going 2 show u something grate!!!!1” I led them to da dining room. “Cum on u guys.”

Coran and the others were all in der. None of da others would talk wiv a Coran because had tried 2 shoot them. 

“B quiet u guys.” I said sexily. Mi plan waz working oot great. Now I kood make Znurkon good wivout doing it with him! “OK Zarkon and Allura’s mum, u guys can start making out.” I said and I started 2 film dem wiv da space ipod. 

“Kool.” said Coran as Zarkon and Allura’s mum started 2 make out sexily. We watched as tdey started 2 take each odderz cloves off sexily.

“Oh my fukking god!!!! Zirkon! Zerkon!” screamed Allura’s mum as her thing touched Zarkon’s.

But suddenly everything stopped as da door opend and in kame……………… King Alofr!!!!111111111111


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42. da blak parade

AN: omg da new season iz kumming out rlly soon I kant wait!!!1111. I fink dat sheero will die and keith wil b the leder of vontron!!!!!1111 omg I hope lance nd keith get 2getha dat will be so shmexxy, wont it?? If dey don’t den da writers is hamophobic!!!!!111111 fangz 4 da help wiv facts, beky u rok!!!111

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I sat depressedly in King Alfor’s office wiv Allura’s mum, Zarkon and Coran. Alfor was sitting in front of us cruelly. He looked more young den he did in da future nd less ded. He had taken da space ipod away and wuz now lizzening 2 a shitty Space Avril Levine song.

“What da hell is this anyway??” he cackled meanly. I hoped he didn’t find out dat I was frum another time.

“Whatever u do don’t blame Keef, u jerk.” Znurkon said.

“Yah, siriusly he was trying to get Zarkon and Allura’s mum back together.” Coran said deviantly.

“Be quiet you quiznaks.” Alfor cockled. “If ur lucky I’ll probably send u all to space jail!!! That will teach u to copolate in da dining room.” He changed the song on da ipod 2 a Space n’Sync song. Suddenly I noticed sumfing strong about da space Ipod. It was slowly chonging! Alfoy didn’t notece.

“You fucking poser.” I muttoned.

“I bet you’ve never herd of SGC.” Coran said. Know I knew waht da iPod was chonging in2- Morti McFly’s tim machine!!!!!11

“Shut up Coran!!!” someone else shouted.

“Yeah shut up!!!!”

“No u shut up Alofr!!!!!!!!1111” said Coran.

“I’ve had enough of u quiznaks in my school!!!!” shouted Alfor spuriously.

Suddenly I grabed da space iPod from him. “Evry1! Jump in b4 itz 2 l8!!! I jumped in2 it. But only 1 odder person jumpd in. It was……..Zarkon.

“You dunderheads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111” screamed Kinhg Alfor wisely as we went.

I looked around. I wuz in da lounge room wiv Zarkon. I was wearing a navy shurt, black pats, puck belt, red and white btoos, red cromped jacket, and blank fingerles glovs. 

“Hey kool where iz dis?” he asked in an emo voice.

“Dis is da future. Alfor’s space iPod dat he tried to take away from me wuz really also a tim machine.” I told him.

“Kool what’s an ipatch?” he whimpered.

“It’s somefing u use 2 lizzen 2 space music.” I yakked.

“OMFG kool wait whatz a 4-letter-wurd 4 dirt?” he esked in his sexah voice.

“Um I guezz sand????” I laid confuesdly.

“Yah I wuz just triinyg to make sure u were stil da same perzon.” He triumphently giggled.

Suddenly some of my friends walked in.

“OMG you’re fucking alive!” said Pidge. I explained 2 them why I was alive.

“Konichiwa, bitch.” said Shiro.

“Hey whose that, Ibony?” Pidge questioned.

“Oh its Zarkon.” I told them and they nodded knowing da truth.

Suddenly Zarkon started to cry.

“Are you okay Zarkon?” we asked concernedly.

“OMFG ur from da future!!1! What if u don’t like m anymore koz were from difrent times?????” he asked.

“No I still like you.” I said sexily to him.

“Ok.” He said ressuredly. I let him lizzen 2 Teenagers by SMCR on my space ipod while I was about to go outside to find out some fingz. I gave Shiro a signal to keep Zarkon occupied. Zarkon fell asleep. I took the space iPod. I was about to walk outside. Coran ran in!!!!!!!1111 He was wearing LOTS of blak iliner.

“Oh my fucking god, where’s Lance!!!!111 How did Roolo get back here!!! I tohot he wuz in space jail.” I asked sadly.

“Keith I was so worried abott u but I know you can’t fucking die because you’re half galra and rlly good at fighting. Rilo came back because Neama freed him. I never liked her she was two facd.” Coran said reassuredly.

“That bitch!!!!!!!11?” I shouted angrily. I hated Nooma because she was a fucking prep and she trid 2 seduce Lance.

“Now they are on the loose on this space ship. Allurey is back to lead Voltron nd Commadner iverson is on his way to help evry1. Tell evry1 u see to lock themselves in their rooms!!!!!!” Coran said worriedly.

“OK. But where’s Lenmce???? How cum he was doing it with Nima?????”

“I dunno why but I know he almost tried 2 commit suicide after he saw u almost kill urself.” he said.

“OMG dat’s terrible!!!!!!!!” I gasped. Zarkon was still asleep, so he couldn’t tell what was going on. Then I said “Lizzen evry1, I have sumthing imptent to do. in hr evry1 stay!!!!!!!!!” wiv dat I ran out.

“Good luck Keef!!!!!!!11” everyone cried.

I ran sexily down the staris in2 da control room. There was hardly ne1 else in the coridors nd tere was an atmosphere of horrer. On da way I saw Nooma laughing on da stairs. She wuz wearing slutty yellow space clothes. She looked jest like a pentagram of those fucking preps Space Hilery Duff and Space Lindsey Lohan.

“You fucking bitch!!!!!111” I shouted angrily.

“No, your totally a bitch. Now Zarkon will like totally kill u!” she laughed.

I started beating her up and she started screaming koz she was being tortured and I laughed sodistically.

“No!!!!!!1 Help me!!!!!!1 Please!!!!!!!!1” Nyyma screamed terrifiedly.

I put up my middle finger at her. In her hand I saw da video camera Rolo and nyma had used to take da video of me. I put the tape of Zarkon doing it with Allura’s mum onto it. Then I continued to rown down the corridor with the camera. When I had reached da control room I saw Hunk. “OMG Hunk!!!!111” I yielded.

We hugged each udder happily. He locked at me wif his gothic brown eyes and cool brown hair. Around them were blak eyeliner and iShadow. His He wus wearing yellow paladin armour. He looked mor like Space Joel from Space Good Charlote than ever.“I wus so worried you died!” moaned Hunk.

“I know but Im half galra lol. When I woke up I wuz back in time, so neway I bought Znarkon from when he was yung with me.”

“Where’s lance?” I asked spuriously.

“Lance? You mean that fukking poser who betroyed you?” Hunk snarkled with anger in his sexy voice.

“I NO BUT WE HAV 2 FIND HIM.” I SED SMARTY.

“I’ll do it den.” Hunk said angstily.

“OK.” I argreed. Suddenly……….all da lights in da room went out. And den…….da galra sumbol appeared.

“Oh my fucking quiznka!!!!!” Hunk shouted.

“I fink Warkon has arrivd.” I sed anxiously. “Fuck, I have to find Lance!!1 I guess we shood separate.”

“Ok.” Hunk sed nd left. Sadly I ran into the control room.


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43

AN: I fink after dis I wil hav abott 2 or three mor chapterz. Fangz 2 all muh revyooers not das flamers if u flamed sis story den u suk!!!!!!!!!111111 if u flam den fukk u!!!111

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I walked sexily into the control room. It was empty except for one person. Lance was there!! He sat der in his greeny cargo jacket nd other clothes n stuff. He had slit his wrists!!!!!111 I felt mad at him for having sexwith Nyma but I felt sorry for him. He looked just like Space Gerard Way with his red eyes and his not at all pale face.

“Lance are you okay????” I asked.

“I’m not okay.” he screamed depressedly. I thought of the SMCR song nd I got even more depressed koz that song always makes me cry. I gave him a space pot cigarette and he started to smoke it.

“Oh Lance why did you do it with that fucking bastard Neema?” I asked teardully.

“I-” Lance began to say but suddenly Rolo and Nyma cmae in2 da room!! They didn’t see us.

“Im so glad we were freed.” said Rolo.

“Dam, stealing da lions would be easy if it wasn’t 4 da fukking paladins of Voltron!” Nyma argreed. 

I yielded angrily and beat Rolo up. 

“Noooooooo!!!!1” Rolo shouted as I tied him up. Nyma ran away.

“You fukking perv.” I said laughing wiv depths of evil and depressedness in my voice. “Now u have 2 tell us where Zurkon is or I’m gong 2 torture u!!!!”

“I don’t now where he is!!!!1111” said Rolo. Suddenly Zarkon and Hunk ran in2 da room. Hunk didn’t know who Zarkon was really.

“Oh my quiznak, we were so worried about u guys!!1” Hunk said. I looked sexily at Lance with his goffik small beady eyes. 

I selectively took the caramel from my pocket. And then….. I began frenching Lance sexily. Roolo gasped. Lance began to take all of his cloves off and I could see his brown sex-pack. Then Hunk took his own clotes off too. We all began making out 2gther sexily. I took off my goffic clothes. Every1 took their glocks out. “Oh mi quiznak!! Lance!!!!” I screamed as he put his hardness in my thingy Den he did da same fing to Hunk. I began making out wiv Zarkon and he joined in. “OMS!!!111” cried Hunk. “Oh Hunk! Hunk!!!” I screamed screamed. “Oh Zarkon!!!!!” yelled Hunk in pleasore. Rolo watched in shock. Suddenly……………………………..

………….a big bnlue lion that said 666 on the space license plate flew strait through da windows. And Nyma wuz in it!!!!!!!11


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44

AN: well I hav noffing 2 say but evrt1 stup glamming ok!!111 if any gofik ppl r reading dis den u rok!!!11 omg I stil kant wait 4 season 2!!!1

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“Dat’s mi lion!!!!” shooted Lance angrily. But suddenly it was revealied who was in da lion. It wuz………….Nyma!!!!!

“I shall free you Rolo but first you must help me kill these idiotic donderheads.” she said cruelly from the lion as it flew circumamcizing above us. “Keith Kogane must be killed. Den the emperor of da universe shall never die!!!!”

“You fucking prep!!!” yelled Lance. Then he loked at me sadly. “I forgot to tell u, Keith. Nyma made me do it with her. I didn’t really have sexx her but she’s a ropeist!!!!”

We all put our clothes on quickly except Zarkon. We were so scarred!!!!1 But Zarkon didn’t change. Instead he changed into a rely igly purple turtle man who wasn’t hot anymore, he was wearing big purple armour to. He had changed into………… older Znarkon!!!!!!!111

“I knew who thou were all along.” he cackled evilly and sarcastically at me. “Now I shall kill thee all!!!!!!”

“No plz don’t kill us!” pleaded Hunk. Suddenly Pidge, Shiro, Coran, Allura, the hologrm of King Alfor, and Thace all ran in.

“What is da meaning of dis?” Allurey asked all angrily and Zarkon lookd away (bcos allura is da only alien he is scared of.)

He got a small space ship hoverboardy thing and it came to him sexily. Zarukon flew above the roof evilly.

“Oh my quiznak!” Coran gosped.

“The emperor of the universe shall kill all of you. Then you must submit to him!!!!” Nyma ejaculated menacingly.

“You fucking preppy quiznaks!” Pidge shouted angrily.

“I know a four-letter word 4 dirt, QUIZNAK!!!” screamed Hunk but da shots from his bayard only hit Lance’s lion. It fell down Nyma quickly crowled out of it and picked up the cideo camera.

“Oh my fucking god!!!1” I cried becoze the video of me in da bathrum, the video of me dong it wif Lance and the video of Zarkon doing it with

“If you kill me then deze cideos will be shown to everyone in the universe. Then u can be just like that goffik girl Space Paris Hillton.” She laughed meanly.

“No!” I scremed. “FYI I hav da picter of u doing it with Rolo!!!!11”

“Whats he talking abott??????” Rolo slurped as he sat in chains.

“I saw 2 he’s gunna show evry1 da picter!!!111” Hunk shouted angrily.

“Shut up!!!111’” Romo roared.

“Foolish ignoramuses!!!!!!” yielded Zarkon from his ship thing. “Thou shall all dye soon.”

“Think again you fucking quiznak poser!!!!!1” Hunk yelled and then he and Shiro and Pidge both took out der bayards! But Zaaarkon took out his own one.

“U guyz are in a Latin stand-of!!!!!!!111” I shouted despariedrly.

“Now I shall kill thee all and Keief u will die!!!!!!!!11111” cried zarnon.

He maid quintessence lighting stuff come all over da place.

“Save us Keef!” Akkura cried.

I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the training room and beat up the gladiator with mi friends and watched altean sit coms and do it with Lance but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent.

I stabbed xarkon.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: omgklance


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